The Five Year Plan

“I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time declaring five year plans which limit my ability to see everything else. I feel like I’ve finally put myself in a position where I see so many options and I don’t know where I want to go next – I just want to see what comes my way. I like to think I’m extremely good at adjusting to change, and when that’s your talent, what else can you do but embrace constant change until you find something good enough to stick with?”

Read more at Taste it Twice.

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2 thoughts on “The Five Year Plan

  1. I gave up making long term plans as I came to understand that my world would persist in not behaving in the way that I wanted or expected.

    Rather than aspire to have a plan, let me recommend that you consider the choices that are available to you in the immediate future. Be careful to distinguish what is within your control from what is not. Choices are usually not exclusive, but some combinations are more compatible than others. When trying for multiple choices, make sure you know their relative importance. Don’t be more specific about what you want than you need to be.

    If you want babies that are genetically related to you, then especially because you have some medical complications with that, starting sooner makes achieving that goal much more likely than if you waited 5 years. If you are content to raise children that you are not genetically related to, then you have more time. You are at peak fertility about now, and things go downhill starting about 5 years from now, sooner for some women. Men have more time. It is not fair.

    If you decide that making babies sooner is what you want, then finding a suitable father for them would make the process much easier, and this will restrict the other choices you can consider, depending upon what your idea of a suitable father might be. For example, unmarried heterosexual monogamous Pagan men are rare, sane and responsible ones, with reliable income, especially so. You may have to put up with insane or irresponsible or not Pagan or without income, for example.

    I decided that I did not care about a man’s income, but that made babies harder to do because I had to give my own earning such priority.

    If you decide to travel a lot, this is harder to make compatible with having pets, unless you have someone who can take care of your pets when you are away. However, if someone else spends more time with your pets than you do, there comes a question of whose pets they are, at an emotional level.

    If you decide not to travel a lot, and to have a long term home base, then your immediate choices are limited by where you live. Your longer term fate will be limited by questions such as whether Vegas will run out of water, or which way the local politics will evolve. Think longer term, not about what you do or decide, but about what will be done to you and around you. Again, things outside of your control are key in choosing where you live.

    • I appreciate the reply, Mary-Anne. πŸ™‚

      “depending upon what your idea of a suitable father might be. For example, unmarried heterosexual monogamous Pagan men are rare, sane and responsible ones, with reliable income, especially so. You may have to put up with insane or irresponsible or not Pagan or without income, for example.”

      At least I know some of my preferences here: Monogamy is negotiable. Responsible is not. My ideal partner is agnostic (and if he is religiously inclined, the less so the better in ANY faith). Reliable income is becoming more and more a must. I’m realizing I’d like at least some time as a stay-at-home parent and I’d like a partner that can easily support that.

      For the rest:
      I chose Vegas because it’s an easy place to make good money and a cheap place to live. It is also a great place to meet interesting people – people who may introduce me to the next step of my life, be it a job, a passion or a partner. I may not stay here, but especially since I still prioritize a certain amount of travel, it’s a handy place to fly out of and live in between that.

      And my parrots are, quite simply, my highest priority in this world. πŸ™‚

      Plans vs. making choices is an interesting subject. At the end of the day, however, I do wish I had a better answer for that sort of question, whether it be in the context of a job interview or a date with a very handsome young man. πŸ˜‰

      Just the experience of writing out why I feel the way I do about the question is illuminating. πŸ™‚

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